Behaviours

For each statement, mark Often, Sometimes, or Never.
If you check “Often” on several items, that’s a red flag worth taking seriously.

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1. Control & Isolation

• My partner tells me who I can or cannot see or talk to.

• My partner checks my phone, email, or social media.

• My partner gets angry if I spend time with friends or family.

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2. Verbal & Emotional Abuse

• My partner calls me names, mocks, or belittles me.

• My partner blames me for their anger or problems.

• My partner makes me doubt my memory or perception (gaslighting).

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3. Intimidation & Threats

• My partner yells, throws objects, or damages property.

• My partner threatens to harm me, themselves, children, or pets.

• My partner uses intimidation (body language, weapons, silence) to scare me.

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4. Financial Control

• My partner controls all the money or withholds funds.

• My partner sabotages my work or stops me from working.

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5. Sexual Coercion

• My partner pressures me into sex or sexual acts I don’t want.

• My partner shames me or gets angry when I say no.

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6. Manipulative “Ups & Downs”

• My partner is very loving after being abusive (love-bombing).

• My partner gives me the silent treatment or withdraws affection to punish me.

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7. Impact on Me

• I feel like I’m walking on eggshells.

• I feel scared, confused, or constantly criticized.

• I’ve lost confidence, independence, or my sense of self.

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🟢 What to Do With Your Results

• Patterns of “Often” or “Sometimes” across these areas suggest abuse may be present.

• Save this worksheet somewhere safe if you might need evidence.

• Reach out to a trusted friend, therapist, or domestic-violence hotline.

U.S. National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (free, confidential, 24/7)
Live chat: thehotline.org